don't u think the situation has gone out of hand? earlier when u all used to tease me abt 'frauding my way thru to a ppo', i never used to say a thing...used to take it in my stride as a joke (and hopefully it was meant to be one)...
but after today's incident, when both u and jerky said abt that 'jiggy voices frm everywhere' thing during the soapbox, i got a bit concerned....not really concerned, but felt strange...
actually dint want to raise this issue abhi....wanted to tell u all this towards the end of the term...but cudnt resist myself....
u say things abt me....it is perfectly acceptable to me...cos u r a friend....but if what u say starts influencing other ppl and those others also start saying the same things abt me without even knowing me, i wud definitely feel hurt....
unfortunately, right frm the time fachchas have come, aakash has (am sure undeliberately) tried and influenced their opinion abt me...so much so that they have started talking all crap abt me....that too openly, in front of me....i find it weird, strange and a tad painful....cos i make it a point NOT to influence the perception that a person has abt some other person....unless one of them is a realllly close friend.....
i dont know...really dint wanna tell u all this abhi....
and i KNOW that u never meant those things...but sebi, the others don't think the way you do.....
and now since am putting so many things on the table, wanna tell u this also....this thing was one of the major reasons behind me keeping a safe distance frm ur group....cos somehow i am always at the receiving end...be it abt ppo, fraud, free-riding or bad english.....there is a limit to which i can take things yaar...nowadays ppl are passing those limits.....
just cos i dont revert back and allow ppl to make fun of me doesnt mean tht ppl can start overdoing it.....
today twisty passed that arbit comment of 'odd person out' and shit....ok i KNOW i am effeminate...but then thats the way i am...and i really cant pretend to be someone i am not...i will behave and act and speak the way i am comfortable in....
pata nahin why am i writing all this....this problem is not something which is new for me...has happened in iit as well...and even in iit, it resulted in the same thing...me breaking all contacts with ppl who do these things....
maybe u dont realize it sebi...but believe me, all this shatters a person's confidence to bits and pieces.....
chalo chhodo...whatever....and dont think i am blaming u or nething.....u r just an outlet for all the pain and venom....:PPP
subah jaldi utha dena or i will flunk GTA.....
and dont think that this dbab was directed towards you.....u wud be the last person i wud hold responsible for anything....:)
gnite jee.....
SEBI :
sweetheart jiggy lemme put things straight.....we both know u didnt fraud ur way to a ppo....... and me and jerky were lying....tat joke was only between me and suze.....koi bhi is baat pe vishwaas nahin karta....
if u hate the english fail thing nahin bolenge par u know its just in good humour.....no malicious intentions....we all know aapki angrezi to awesome hai
and ya abt the twisty thing i dunno wat all transpires in ur dorm...u may be slightly effeminate but itna bhi kuch nahin.....hv met lotsa ppl much more effeminate....i didnt think twas in good humour either....
par jiggy dear u r brave....uve chosen to be honest wid urself abt who u r.....pata hai this is only the beginning.....bahut log bahut kuch bolenge... koi fark nahin padta.......
and i know this is not really a good analogy but when i was a child i was very fat (not tat i m not now)...so when boys used to ogle at girls or u know call them pretty i used to get so jealous....ppl used to call me moti in school and i didnt have a choice....i think children r complete idiots tat way....pata hai how much i hv cried to my mom...i never cried in public but sach mein tat is 1 aspect of my childhood and growing up i will never forget... i cud never wear short skirts and all tat stuff coz tat wud never suit me.....none of the guys i liked ever thot of me in tat sense coz i didnt fit the bill u know
i know wat u mean when u say its confidence breaking...my confidence abt my looks was completely shatttered..... i used to think success comes only frm all tat but thankfully i atleast used to do well in studies so ppl did talk to me varna aise logo se koi baat kyun karega?
only after nish came into my life i realised tat sensible ppl do exist.... i hv never shared dis wid any1 any of the above but u know whenever i tell nish tat i m not pretty 1 bit and tat he is much better looking and cud easily get a good looking girl wo mujhe bolta hai mayb our defns of beauty r not the same....he says i m not tat bad looking as i make myself out to be and i m the most beautiful person frm within
i dont know why i wrote all this....prolly related to ur confidence shattering thing.....sach bataati hoon jiggy mera koi intention nahin tha tumhein hurt karne ka..... na kabhi ho sakta hai..;u know saying dis is prolly my mechanism of dealing wid my finals fears....i dunno.....but pt taken.....cant promise wont crack jokes on u.....tum mauke dete hi rehte ho.....par trust me u r a very intelligent guy else u wudnt be here....u r very smart very pseud and perfect db material....i m still to meet a fresher who has ur level of comfort among ischols and studs.... u r good no wait great.....believe it and tats wat will be true u know.......luv u....ab sone jaa rahi hoon.....
aur haan wake me up at 12.....muggu mug lo ab......
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