I have often wondered what is it that makes some people successful? Why is it that some people climb up the corporate ladder, while others are left behind? What differentiates two people with the same IQ level?
I think more than your credentials, more than the fact that which college/firm/country you come from, it is the competitive streak in individuals that makes all the difference. The hunger to perform, the continuous urge to prove yourself, the desire to outperform your colleague is what really determines success in corporate life.
I, honestly, lack that competitive streak. Maybe that is the reason whichever college I went to, my performance has always been around average. The thing is I feel extremely comfortable being mediocre, I never try to better myself, never try to look at the guy next to me and think that I can do better than him.
There are a number of reasons for that. One of them is I feel I can't better myself irrespective of how hard I try. This is a question of ability. When you know you can never achieve a particular thing, the incentive to work hard to achieve that is non-existent. Another reason is I fear failure. I fear failure so much that I feel reluctant to even try. This is a question of spirit and motivation. Yet another reason is that success is closely linked to monetary fulfillment. Usually, the more successful you are, the better you get compensated. In most cases, money is also a big motivator for people to excel. I hold no desire for money. And when I say that, I mean that I hold absolutely no fancy for a Lamborghini or a Tag Heuer or Armani suits. I feel a Maruti, a Titan and a Raymonds could very well suffice.
I can't pin-point which out of the above factors is lacking in me - ability, spirit or the lust for money. Maybe it is the combination of all three.
Do I wish I had that competitive spirit in me? Yes!
Do I think that not having it makes me unhappy? Probably.
Is there any job in this world that is not competitive in nature? I seriously hope there is.
Do I think it is bad that I lack that hunger in me? Absolutely Not.
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9 comments:
Reb, I guess, to each his own. If you're happy with a Titan and a Maruti, then you needn't worry too much Isn't it? After all, its all about being happy. You're lucky that you find happiness elsewhere. Don't bother about being competetive.
I lacked that streak when it came to passing out school and college so was among the toppers but never at the top. But fortunately when it comes to sports or my job, I think I am competetive, albiet in a healthy way only.
And lust for money, I have but there, I don't seem to make enough effort.
Contradicting, I think...
Those who enjoy their work are successful in my opinion..
I think when you become very comfortable with your work, you also become complacent..u stop to aspire and desire and excel.. So, I guess, healthy competition motives us to perform better..
But if you are happy with a Maruti and a Titan, then thts entirely ur choice..as Rakesh rightly said- to each his own!
And I think every job is competitive and demanding..whether its marketing, accounting, writing, mopping or shoe polishing
PS: The desire for money drives most people..it drives me as well..
I can relate to what you are saying as I kinda feel the same way and know of many other gay guys with similar feelings.
I believe we feel the way we do because many a time we realise that the definition of success as definted by majority i.e heterosexual population, infact does not apply to us as we choose to lead a different life with differing priorities / responsibilities.
The general heterosexual defn of success : money, power , status does not fit us.
Maybe it's time for a gay defintion of success in life!
Cheers,
AK
@Rakesh -> It is difficult being happy when everyone around you is competitive and striving for that something extra. You feel left out, you question yourself, you think you are weird or simply feel like a failure. You have no reason to believe you are one, but still, the mind works in mysterious ways.
@Swats -> What you have written doesn't apply to everybody I guess. I feel most comfortable in jobs which are repetitive and which involve bare minimum interpersonal skills. I can very well work in a place where all work happens via exchange of emails, but as soon as it comes down to talking to people, god...i hate that.
But yes, as you and Rakesh mentioned, it is the desire for money which motivates most of the people.
@AK -> Long time no see! I am surprised when you say that you know many gay guys who feel like the way we do. Cos all the gay guys I know are extremely competitive, love money, power, status, etc. So I always used to think that being gay has nothing to do with it really.
To me, success is contentment and happiness, but as I mentioned in my reply to Rakesh above, it is difficult to be contented when people around you are moving ahead in life/careers.
He he, i know exactly what you mean Reb. Coz., just some time back when things were very good, most of my friends were making good money. Everyone was getting a good job here, a better offer there and my brother would come home with all such success stories everyday... What he was actually trying to do was push me to go for something better, go for a MNC, go for a higher paying job. But I was quite satisfied with my job.
So then, anytime anybody got a promotion, I used to tell him, "Yaar uska promotion hota hai, tu mereko tension deta hai!" Was damn funny those conversations. But yeah, even at times, I used to think about it seriously, whether what I was doing was right.
Thankfully, with times changing, it feels like the most brilliant choice.
I second swati's thoughts...
As you say that you are unhappy, then i feel .....find someone to love, you will get all the motivation in life and the will to succeed and I dont believe in the limit to capabilities, My thought is that god has created the same ability in everyone, its upon the individual to realise that.
@Renu -> I wish it was that easy to find someone to love. :-)
but its not that diffcult also:) plus I believe that once you desire anything...god always grants u....bus aapki iccha me dum hona chahiye..so wish fervently and u will certainly get it:)
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